For a reason attributable only to the endlessly fascinating power of the human spirit to meander towards the mediocre, headphones have experienced something of a popularity lasting a sum total of infinite negative hyper-mach years.
Why don’t people wear headphones in public?
There are infectious diseases, and there are epidemically-proportioned diseases. There are quaint diseases you could throw an arm around while slugging back a bourbon. There are less agreeable diseases you couldn’t laugh at no matter how close their proximity to a fish tank immersed hairdryer was, nor how accommodating they were in including screams of terror in their definition of laughter.
And then, somewhere down the line, there are enigma-wrapped riddle diseases, the rabid hybrids of all of the latter encapsulated so well through their epitome – the pervasive demonisation of headphones as the worst sin of sensibility (in regards to music listening) since the earliest square-shaped stone wheels (in regards to avoiding death by dinosaur hoof flattening).
Comparison of headphones to Biblical-era technology aside, there’s something to be said about the mass adoption of the worst form of sound-projecting earmuffs over the original and best.
Earbuds. Not exactly earmuffs, but … goddamn earbuds.
Nothing is more admirable than two sleek wires leading up to two mini-Dalmatian bongos barely visible to the naked eye. Lest sarcasm complete its cheap takeover of this paragraph, the accompanying ear canal strangulation and pathetic outside noise blocking make the choice of earbuds over headphones less a questionable one and more a sanitarium questionnaire acing one.
Noise-cancelling earphones. Noise-cancelling earphones!
Marvellous. Adding a few extra digits to the price tag of your earphones of choice for something more than capably handled by headphones, just for the sheer pleasure of using something as easy to yank out of your head as your encephalon is through a single pore of your face, is a marvellous move.
But I want something I can pull out and put away quickly! Something that won’t get me hit by a bus because it’s too hard to take off!
They’re headphones, how bloody hard can …
Whatever! They look stupid!
I’ll say this much: if your goal at the end of your music player’s life is to hold its ailing body in your palm and spiel that its spirit of indefinite coolness will live on in the earbuds it afforded you, you’re a sentimental type in the wrong kind of way, and you never had a single good listening experience in the player’s life.
Equating portable music with an acceptable aesthetic, instead of daring to broach the shockingly inexcusable arena of a damn good listening experience, merely makes you deserving of a very white and very woolly wardrobe.
You’re making these quotes up to prove your point! I refuse to be faux-represented using this many exclamation marks!
Granted, there are issues like compactness and greenbacks in the bank which smarten up the choice of earbuds. And some headphone abominations (oh, behind-the-head variants, how you complete my collection of material anathemas), simply put … abominate.
But, disregarding the inexplicable aversion kindled within all tiers of music-bopping humanity by them, it’s time for headphones to have a meatier turn in the spotlight.
Phil
15.05.08 #
Shut it Yvonne, behind the head headphones are cool…
Yvonne
15.05.08 #
Hey, I had a Panasonic behind the head pair for a while. I find them uncomfortable, not uncool.
(Beeyotch.)
Nyssa
16.05.08 #
Those behind the head headphones are very uncomfortable. Actually, I find any headphones uncomfortable cause they squash my little ears and make them hurt hehe (the only pair I do use for anything is at home for the PC – gaming, movies and music and they hurt after a while) but particularly the behind the head ones. I just find them irritating.
kristarella
16.05.08 #
I’m no music/headphone guru, I just want some that don’t fall off/out of my ears and that don’t hurt. Thus, I have those ones that hook over the top of your ear. They come off easily and quickly. If I need to buy something from a shop I just hook it on the top of my shirt so I can hear the shop assistant – no need to have it hang and pull on my other ear.
Sure, I look like a knob (nob?) a bunch of the time, but better that than never listening to music.
Phil
16.05.08 #
I actually find the back of the head headphones more comfortable than either earbuds (ugh) or over the top headphones (they come off too easily). I’m even listening to my iPod with back of the head headphones right now, so there :P
Yvonne
16.05.08 #
Ha ha Phil, you’re outnumbered :P And come on, how do over the top headphones come off easily without your ears friggin’ falling off?
Nyssa – I own a Sennheiser HD 202 pair. They’re very cushy and comfy for my own smallish ears, though a bit pricy ($80 at JB Hi-Fi).
kristarella – I’ve flirted with getting a pair like yours. Unfortunately, they’d probably be smushed by the contents of my shoulder bag within a day.
Semaj
17.05.08 #
okay, I love this post.
I have to agree with Phil, I love the behind the head headphones to be comfortable. I do a lot of walking and realized I wear them everywhere. The earplug types are too small for me.
Nyssa
17.05.08 #
$80 is good.
I have ear canal Sennheisers (CX300s) and they cost me $80 from WOW Sight & Sound.
I wouldn’t mind some headphones but since I only really listen to music while working, they’re not really an option as I’m always bending over. Plus I’m in love with the CX300s, which have amazing bass response (yeah, I guess I care a lot about the bass response). Downfall to ear canal phones though is they’re not ideal for anyone that gets earaches, or ear infections. They need to be cleaned constantly, as well as the ears themselves.
So many pros and cons for each. Find what suits you best, I guess. :)
Jac
17.05.08 #
i had a pair of behind the head set once, but they broke. but they were like behind the head clip on ear earmuffs sorta things. not the big think ones like people where when in music studios and that you find in music shops when you wanna listen to the music they have playing.
they were my fave pair ever! but i cant find them anymore.
Yvonne
18.05.08 #
Semaj – don’t make me catch a flight and come after you :P
Nyssa – really? Wow. I actually considered buying a pair of CX300s once, but they were always sold out wherever I looked. I got a cheaper pair of in-ear earphones, but found them uncomfortable as hell. Whatever suits your fancy indeed.
Jac – I think you had the same type kristarella does. I’ve never tried those before. Maybe I will now :)
Nyssa
19.05.08 #
Yeah they’re popular, the CX300s. I got the last pair when I went! Phew. I’ve tried in ear ones before and also found them uncomfortable but the CX300s I forget I’m even wearing them. :D
Yvonne
21.05.08 #
I think it’s time to do a little online hunting …