nektros - Cynicism in a Hot Dish

Ramblings.

Personal blogs – in relative comparison to other types of blogs, and in general comparison to such activities as studying the exact effect of sunlight on basement-induced anaemic skin – have usually and still are relegated reputation-wise to the online equivalent of mouldy piles of second-hand toilet uncloggers.

Aromatic connotations aside, I’ve often wondered whether the majority of personal, typically first-time bloggers are destined by evolution to be accosted by a healthy dose of retardism.

Bloody ramblings.

I’ve often long-winded myself into a coma about the mediocrity and uniformity of the majority of blog designs out there, to the point of hypocrisy and loquacity, and to the point that I’ve never been able to bring myself to care enough about what words and structures people choose to formulate their blog taglines with.

Because no-one could give that much of a shit about blog taglines.

Recently, however, I’ve been plethora-fied with sites embedded with names or slogans following a specific, sickening formula:

[Synonym of ‘thoughts’ or ‘remarks’] of a [adjective of ‘I am an interesting person, LOVE ME’] [synonym of ‘I am a quirky person, OH GOD, PLEASE LOVE ME’]

For example:

• Musings of a deranged zealot – You have identified yourself as a mentally unstable person, thus eliciting a humoured response from your new visitor and now reader. And ‘zealot’ is the perfect witty euphemism for ‘rebel’! Congratulations, imbecile! Oh, no. I only laugh with people.
• Confessions of a sex-crazed nymphomaniac – And head bashing by word redundancy anal-retentists.
• Theorems of a childhood-traumatised axe-mur…

Point made, I realise that blogs have probably sported taglines like these since time immemorial. And that this post up to this point would constitute a ramble to quite a few people.

But holy fuck at least I don’t brand every post on this site as a rambling of any sort, nor follow up on my tagline by boring the ever living shit out of you.

If you couldn’t tell already, I am now of the disposition that any blog with that word in its tagline is – behind all of the banality and cat pictures – a site which makes up an online front for a corporation devoted to eliminating all grammar, punctuation and line breaks from the written world.

And sure, you can always close the window, and I actually have been subscribed to one good blog of the ramblings persuasion for a long time now, but … after letting roll off my back the last thousand sites with bylines promising rambles and quickly elucidating without self-awareness that an adjective rhyming with ‘whoring’ should have been added somewhere in the mix, I can’t stand any longer that blogs looking to differentiate themselves by utilising that goddamned word only to out themselves as those already on their blogging deathbed, while at the same time tainting the entire genre of personal blogging, won’t effin’ go away.

The reasoning behind the collective, idiotic will of 90% of the blogosphere and my ever pervasive willingness to write about it continues to elude me.